Hope for Pasir Mas

I did not plan to go back to my hometown Pasir Mas this time around but it so happened that I had to visit my mother-in-law this weekend. My sister, brother and mother-in-laws were about to leave forMekah to answer God’s call for pilgrimage. It is customary that whenever members of your extended family go for Hajj, you attend the doa selamat andthen see them off at the airport. This one is no exception. Everybody who did not want to be disowned made his journey home, no matter how far. And thus all members of my wife’s family gathered at the family house in our village in Pasir Mas. The eight hour journey through the interior of Pahang was not a stroll in the park, but it gave me a rare opportunity to talk to my brother who acted as co-driver.

I have made journeys like this countless times ever since I started working and living in the west side ofthe Peninsula. I wished they had built a four-lane toll-free highway from Kajang to Pasir Mas so I could cut short the journey by half. I am still wishing.

Nothing is interesting about this trip except for the fact that this town had just received nationwide attention after a bitterly fought state seatby-election last week. The election was forced by the death of Pas rep for the seat of N12 Pengkalan Pasir.Until last week, this town had been under Pas control for the past 15 years. It was one of their remaining strongholds after the big swing to BN in the last general election. The town looked different from usual. Its usually dark streets are now flooded with tall spotlights with visible signboards reminding people of which party installed the damned things. Election posters for all parties were still hanging on trees, power cable poles and buildings. The usual dacing and bulan purnama fought for space at every corner. The independent candidate, ex-Umno stalwartDatuk Ibrahim Ali chose umbrella as the symbol of his side, perhaps mindful of the frequent rain that can happen here all of a sudden at this time of the year.

This by-election was crucial for both parties. For Pasit was about maintaining their razor thin majority. For BN it was about showing the people that the tideof change from the last general election was inevitable and irreversible. Eventually BN managed to wrest the seat from Pas who had ruled over the last 15 years, thanks to postal votes. The majority was thin but at least the efforts of their federal leaders, including PM, DPM and various ministers, with the help of all government machinery, money and the media did not come to naught. Pas blamed it all on Pos Malaysia and phantom voters. Some say the new rep is not wakil rakyat but merely a wakil pos. As for Ibrahim Ali, he disappeared together with all his umbrellas. Somebody told me he spent two million ringgit to split the BN vote. They took his money but apparently did not need his umbrella. Pas offered RM15,000 to catch pengundi hantu but I am quite sure BN can double that to set them free again! Either side, they had the opportunity to make money. Big money.

It is one of the ironies of democracy. In a communitywhere party politics run in their blood, sometimes victory is decided by a minority group. In this case, the small Chinese community vote was vital as the split among the majority Malay voters was about thesame. Perhaps feeling appreciated by their community leaders who took time to visit, the Chinese community votes went to the BN. This would not be surprising outside Kelantan, but in this state, politics can go against the norm. It is not unusual to see non-Muslim Chinese campaigning for Parti Islam in Kelantan. In the heat of the election campaign, both sides promised to bring changes to this town. BN promised to tackle traffic, drainage system and lack of cleanliness problems. Pas said they would build a flyover to replace the existing level crossing across the railway tracks. Both sides promised to make good on their election promises. And they better do it, or else they will see the people’s wrath in future elections.

As somebody who was born and bred here, but earns a living in KL, I only hope for the better. I think the people of this town also share my views. The barber I visited did not seem to care who got the seat. He just wanted to make a decent living. With cheap goods crossing the Thai border at Rantau Panjang-Golok, he could still afford to charge me six ringgit less than my Kajang barber did. The petty trader I talked to was certain he would go to the kenduri to celebrate BN victory even though he was reluctant to say who he voted for. Politics apart, whoever wins, I hope they will bring the much needed development to this town. It used tobe Kelantan’s second biggest town in 1970s but has since been overtaken by other Kelantan towns likeTanah Merah and Gua Musang. The town has not had a proper wet market ever since the Pasar Besar was razed down by fire in the mid-1980s. Instead its market is located in wooden buildings next to the town railway station. Perhaps due to lack of funds its cleanliness has had to take a back seat. When it rains, especially this monsoon season, the wet market really lives up to its name as shoppers hop from one stall to another trying hard to avoid the puddles. It is not very much different from Pasar Besar Kajang on a wet day!

After three days of visiting family and relatives, Ihad to drive back to Kajang. This time I did not have a co-driver. My brother had to go back to Shah Alam for work one day earlier than me. I had to do all the eight hours of driving on my own. Plenty of time forme to think and ponder as I went up and down the hills of southern Kelantan and Pahang. Plenty of time too to compare the development of the town of my birth with the rest of the Peninsula. Perhaps wishing for a four-lane toll free highway from Pasir Mas to Kajang is too wild a dream. But I’d like to see that some of the promises of the last by-election become a reality the next time I go back to my hometown. I hope theywill make it worth my while going through the long drive.

16 December 2005

UMNO dan penyakit orang Melayu

Terpampang di dada akhbar Mingguan Malaysia hari ini tentang temuramah dengan PM sempena perhimpunan agung UMNO minggu depan. Isu hangat yang dibincangkan ialah agenda Melayu dan rasuah politik yang menjadi-jadi dewasa ini. Aku sebagai orang Melayu sendiri tak berapa pasti apa itu agenda Melayu. Yang aku tahu agenda pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO ialah mengaut kontrak-kontrak kerajaan dan menyerahkannya kepada bukan Bumiputra dengan harapan untuk dapat untung atas angin. Itu persepsi aku setelah sekian lama mendengar PM dulu dan sekarang meluahkan rasa kekecewaan mereka dengan bangsa Melayu yang enggan berubah sikap.

Di sebalik Islam Hadhari yang dicanangkan oleh kerajaan sekarang, belum nampak tindakan drastik yang diambil untuk menghapuskan rasuah. Seorang bekas Ketua UMNO Bahangian dan bekas Ketua Menteri yang berhutang judi sehingga RM7.1 juta di London tidak dikenakan apa-apa siasatan oleh BPR. Bagaimana dia boleh mengumpul harta sebanyak itu sedangkan rakyat di negerinya sendiri masih ramai yang tinggal di rumah air. Aku sedikit optimistik bila seorang naib presiden UMNO dikenakan tindakan disiplin baru-baru ini kerana memenangi jawatan itu dengan politik wang. Nampak seolah-olah ada semangat baru untuk membersihkan parti itu dari najis politik wang. Namun aku kembali pesimistik bila kes bekas Ketua Menteri itu ditutup begitu saja.

Seperti tahun-tahun sudah, kali ini mereka akan bersidang lagi dan meluluskan resolusi dengan berapi-api. Kemiskinan Melayu akan dibincangkan. Keciciran pelajar-pelajar Melayu akan diperdebatkan. Masalah pengangguran dan gejala sosial remaja Melayu akan dilaung-laung. Nasib kontraktor-kontraktor Melayu yang bilangannya hampir memecah rekod dunia itu akan diulas. Ekonomi orang Melayu akan dikaji dan Islam Hadhari akan diteliti. Namun sebaik sahaja kereta-kereta mewah mereka meninggalkan hotel lima bintang tempat mereka menginap, apabila imej Dewan Merdeka yang gah itu mula hilang dari cermin kereta mereka, mereka akan teruskan hidup mengejar kemewahan. Kertas-kertas kerja kemiskinan Melayu mungkin akan ditong sampahkan. Kemiskinan Melayu? “Ah, itu bukan masalah aku. Aku orang Melayu kaya”. Kepada mereka yang membangkitkan isu ekonomi Melayu, mereka akan berkata, “lihatlah aku orang Melayu yang berjaya dalam ekonominya”. Apabila diajukan persoalan masalah gejala sosial Melayu jawapannya mungkin “mana aku ada masa memikirkan itu semua. Otakku perlu diperah untuk memenangi kontrak bina sekolah yang berharga puluhan juta itu, dan bagaimana untuk menyerahkannya kepada Ah Chong untuk disiapkan”. Bagaimana pula dengan konsep Islam Hadhari? Aku pasti jawapannya, “Islam Hadhari tidak menghalang kita menjadi kaya raya!”.

Dan mungkin ada yang bertanya kenapa aku memikirkan senario yang begitu mengecewakan ini. Aku tak pasti jawapannya. Dr Mahathir dulu dan Pak Lah sekarang juga melahirkan perasaan yang sama. Jikalau merekapun tidak dapat memberikan jawapan, biarlah ia kekal menjadi soalan.

17 Julai 2005.

The ultimate price of freedom - oil

Four bombs exploded in Central London on Thursday 7 July 2005 killing at least 50 people and injuring up to 700 others. The timing was chosen to coincide with the G8 Summit in Scotland where leaders of 8 most industrialised countries meet to discuss global warming and poverty in Africa. Tony Blair in his immediate response to the atrocities hit out at the attackers by calling them terrorists and that the purpose of terrorism was killing innocent people indiscriminately. Just like Bush and John Howard of Australia, whose people had similar experience of being targeted by terrorists, he quickly pronounced that the terrorists were out to destroy freedom and Western civilisation. As if borrowed from Bush speech in the immediate aftermath of the September 11 attack in America, he also repeated that the Western way of life would prevail over the terrorists who seek to impose their extremist idea on the world. It was a good platform for the powerful to appear on worldwide audience and potray themselves as victims.

Yes, I do symphatise with the victims of this indiscriminate killing of innocent people. They are just ordinary people like us who just want to get on with their lives. Most of them are probably against the war in Iraq and subjugation of other Muslim countries; the very reason the terrorists say they were avenging. But if the leaders of powerful Western countries simply ignore the very roots of terrorism and turn their deaf ears to the resentment towards foreign dominance in Muslim countries the growing problem of terrorism is not going to be solved. Yes, we should not talk to terrorists but the longer the Western powers control their land and oil, the stronger their resolve become. Perhaps they will not win in the end, but many innocent people will become victims. The daily bombings in Iraq which kill dozens of people each day is not news anymore. More than 100,000 ordinary Iraqis have been killed since the American-led invasion in March 2003. Nobody cares about this number. They just lost count. It’s only news when American or British troops are also killed. They only count the dead if it’s American or other foreigners. But then I should have known better. The people who bring the news to my TV set are BBC or CNN. I should not expect them to tell the Muslim side of the story. After all they say they are sacrificing their lives in bringing FREEDOM to the oil-rich freedom-poor states. I think the world appreciates their effort but if I were the Arabs I’d say, “YES, thanks for your help. But, we still have this cynical feeling that you want something more in return - our OIL”.

9 July 2005

Modern day pirates and old day explorers

The management of the company I work for wants all staff to delete all unlicensed software from their computers. This follows pressure from the top who themselves must have been pressured by higher authority. The higher authority may be instructed by government official to clean up or face consequences. And our government is probably acting after being pushed by certain foreign government with some threat of retaliation. To encourage creativity and entrepreneurship, those with excellent ideas and willing to take risks should be rewarded. So say the advanced countries whose main export are ideas, creativity and high-tech stuff. They produce the stuff so it’s only logical that we pay them to get the product. Those who are involved in selling software, movies or CDs without license are labelled as pirates. Fair enough. Except when you look back into history and start asking questions.

The other day I was watching a documentary on TV about the stealing of Egyptian treasures by Western collectors. Among the most prominent is the Rosetta Stone, the finding of which made it possible to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphs (ancient writing using symbols). The stone is now in the British Museum in London after it was brought from France. The French took the stone together with countless Egyptian mummies to Europe during their colonisation of Egypt. One of Egypt’s own prominent scholars in Egyptology was calling for the return of the stone to Egypt because it is Egyptian national treasure and rightly belongs to Egypt. The British has so far turned deaf ears to his request. He was sad and angry because while the British could enjoy the beauty of stolen Egyptian priceless artifacts, the Egyptian themselves had been deprived of pieces of their ancient civilisation.

The theft of ancient Egyptian treasure is just one example. There are countless other treasures taken from less developed part of the world during the colonisation of these countries. Malaysia was not exempted. Many documents of historical significance to us are now jealously guarded in the major libraries of Europe. A serious scholar who would like to study about pre-Independence Malaysian history has to visit the British Library, Oxford, Cambridge or Leiden for original manuscripts. Similarly, one has to visit Britain or France to study Egyptology. God knows how much of less developed countries’ wealth was used to build their countries into advanced nation status. In old days, they might just have taken it for free knowing fully well that the uneducated natives did not appreciate the significance of their own heritage. When they came back after long journeys with all the priceless stolen items, they were hailed as great explorers and conferred titles by their monarchs.

So it’s a bit hypocritical of them now to accuse countries of the East of stealing their intellectual property when their ancestors took away our treasures as if they belonged to them. At least they should return all our priceless treasures before they ask us to pay for their ideas and so-called intellectual property. Instead, they keep it safe in their museums, claim it as their own and dare to impose fees for visitors, including the rightful owners of the artifacts, who want to see it. So next time you go shopping for VCD or computer software, bear this in mind. They have been robbing our wealth for centuries. For us, now is the time to explore.


22 May 2005

Pipeline Engineers Wanted

The rising world oil price has some good effects for people like me. Oil companies want to produce more oil and transport it to their customers. Every barrel sells at higher price and they make better margin. The big oil companies all report hefty profits. The company I work for also is expected to announce bigger profits. More fields that were not economically viable may now become more attractive for exploration and production. More development activities need more engineers.

It’s the supply and demand thing. The supply of engineers, especially those with experience, is fixed while the demand suddenly jumps. It’s not a surprise therefore a mainstream newspaper today advertises posts for pipeline engineers for two international companies – one big US company and one Middle East operator. They must be paying handsome amount of money to those qualified. I am not sure if I am qualified but the offer looks really interesting. It’s going to be a big change from my daily routine if I decide to take the plunge. A friend took the challenge more than a year ago and is now glad that he made the choice. But, on the other hand, I know many people are willing to give the world just to work for my current employer. It seems so nice looking from outside. But from within the other pasture appears greener. It’s probably normal human nature.

They say separating with your first company is like, well … your first wife. It’s difficult going from one to two, but any number after that is no sweat. The embarrassing thing later is probably when you are desperate to get back with your first wife after she has improved her figure and by then is married to your ex-gardener!

Being in this company for so long has created so huge a “comfort zone” that is almost impossible for me to leave. Yet I feel the need to make some major decisions about my career now that I have been here for more than a decade. I need to learn something new and increase the breadth and depth of knowledge in my chosen field. My learning curve here is almost flat. And with that so is my career development. I need to get involved in doing something fresh, make more contacts and see the whole wide world. I cannot let others or circumstances decide what my future is going to be. I don’t want to look back ten years from now and find myself still in the same place, with more hair on the floor than on top of my head! With so many questions demanding difficult answers in my mind it’s no wonder why the ads caught the attention of my casual browsing. Suddenly the words printed on the low quality brown paper appeared unusually attractive.


Saturday
14 May 2005

Aggression pays

Tony Blair, the British prime minister won a historic third consecutive term in the UK election held on 5 May 2005. He became the first Labour leader to return to power for third consecutive term. He was the last of the three main architects of the war against Iraq in 2003 to be reelected into government despite strong opposition to the American-led aggression in their own country and the world over. The first re-elected was John Howard of Australia, then George Bush and finally the charismatic Blair.

In addressing his nation after the victory, Blair acknowledged that he lost a lot of ground because of the split over Iraq. However, the opposition was split into the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats with the LDP gaining most of the ground lost by Labour. Based on the recent elections, the conservative Republicans in the US increased their support while in the UK support for the Conservatives had weakened.

So as far as foreign policy is concerned it is obvious that at least in the three countries, the majority of the people do not seem to mind whether their leaders attacked another country and killed more than 100,000 ordinary people as long as those people were foreigners. And they all seem to agree that the world’s largest oil producing countries – which happen to be Muslims - must be firmly under their control in order to maintain their superiority in the world. The stated justification for their continued subjugation of Muslim countries is terrorism and democracy. The real reason is control of their oil wealth. You just have to look at Saudi Arabia to prove the point. How much more democratic are the Saudis than Iraq under Saddam? But why was one country attacked with the pretext of “bringing freedom and democracy”, while the other, almost equally dictatorial, still enjoy warm relations with the world’s biggest oil consumer? And, what about countries of Africa, who don’t have much oil and still mired in dictatorship. Don’t they also deserve freedom and democracy? If the desserts of Arabia were just sand and stones would the so-called champions of freedom care whether the Bedouins are democratic? The answer perhaps will become clear when they have pumped out all the oil and all that’s left are really sand and stones. But according to current estimates, at the current rate of oil consumption, that will not happen for another 90 years. In the mean time, as far as those countries are concerned, oil is a curse to their ordinary people.

The re-election of the leaders of these Anglo-Saxon descendants prove that all their talk about freedom and democracy is only rhetoric. Deep down it is still about the struggle for control of limited resources. In our guts, we are still wild animals. And in the animal world aggression really does pay.

Saturday
7 May 2005

Harga Minyak Naik Lagi

Rakyat Malaysia terperanjat lagi. Selepas mesyuarat mingguan kabinet semalam, harga runcit minyak dinaikkan lagi sebanyak 10 sen seliter. Kenaikan ini agak mendadak kerana sebeleum ini pun sudah beberapa kali harga minyak naik. Mengikut kerajaan subsidi minyak yang terpaksa ditanggung kerajaan akan dikurangkan dan harga runcit di negara ini masih rendah jika dibandingkan dengan negara jiran. Pengeluaran minyak Malaysia sekarang ialah lebih kurang 650,000 tong sehari dan pada harga pasaran dunia 50 dolar Amerika (lebih kurang RM190 setong) pendapatan minyak Malaysia sehari ialah RM123 juta! Atau RM45 billion setahun. Kenaikan mendadak ini akan menyebabkan harga runcit barang-barang keperluan harian juga naik. Tambang bas naik. Kadar tol naik. Angin naik. Tekanan darah pun naik.

Mereka yang paling tertekan ialah yang berpendapatan rendah. Tapi apa mereka boleh buat? Dengan 90% majoriti di Parlimen, kerajaan sekarang boleh buat apa sahaja yang mereka suka, sekurang-kurangnya sehingga tahun 2008. Jadi memang sudah dijangka sebarang tindakan kurang popular akan diambil sebaik sahaja memenangi majoriti besar pilihanraya. Menjelang lima tahun akan datang rakyat akan lupa dan mereka akan dipilih semula. Betul kata Dr Mahathir, Melayu memang mudah lupa! Masakan beliau tidak tahu. 22 tahun dia memimpin bangsa yang pelupa ini. Jadi memang patutlah apa yang mereka dapat sekarang ini. Orang Malaysia sepatutnya tak perlu merungut jika semua harga Barang Naik. Mereka telah memilih BN. So, you stupid Malaysians, shut up your mouth and get back to work!

Happy 10th Anniversary

As far as my employment with this company is concerned 2nd May is very significant. On this date 10 years ago (yes! that’s right, it’s TEN, and I did not add any unnecessary 0 to it) I formally joined this company. And stuck with it ever since. After completing a post-graduate degree I was very eager to practise what I learnt at university. I opted to be transferred into this company, the research arm of our big company.

Since my days at university, I have developed interest in in-depth study of engineering problems. When described with mathematical equations, with some simplifying assumptions, physical phenomena are beautifully modeled into sets of abstract symbols and numbers. Wow! I felt like I had been given a privileged taste of God’s beauty as manifested in nature. It’s God’s work as revealed to us in the science of mathematics. I thought everybody was highly involved in high-powered cutting edge research, finding new solutions and contributing knowledge to the world. I was an idealist.

Lawatan ke MINT

Pagi-pagi lagi aku kena pergi ke MINT untuk tengok kemudahan penyelidikan di sana. Tempatnya menarik, di atas bukit, di tengah hutan dikelilingi pokok kelapa sawit. Agaknya rimau pun masih merayau dalam hutan tu.

Pusat penyelidikan itu agak canggih. Banyak tapak dan bangunan baru sedang dibuka. Dalam perjalanan ke tapak, lori-lori sedang mengangkut tanah ke sana-sini. Bukit ditarah untuk pembangunan. Pembinaan sedang rancak dijalankan. Malah kalau dilihat keadaan jalan di sana, mungkin tempat yang kami pergi itu masih belum diserahkan kepada tuan punya (belum comissioned).

… Malam tadi sekali lagi aku terpaksa tidur lewat. Aku menghabiskan masa untuk membaca arahan dan mengisi borang cukai pendapatan untuk tahun taksiran 2004. Tarikh akhir untuk hantar borang BE ialah 30 April, hari sabtu ini. Sudah dua malam aku selongkar kotak dan almari untuk mencari semula resit-resit pembelian buku, resit zakat dan sebagainya yang aku buat tahun lepas.

Sistem terbaru yang diperkenalkan tahun ini ialah Sistem Taksir Sendiri. Ia memerlukan sedikit masa sebelum pembayar cukai selesa dengan kaedah baru ini. Tidak seperti tahun lepas-lepas, resit asal tidak perlu disertakan dengan borang BE dan ia perlu disimpan selama 7 tahun untuk disemak jika diminta oleh LHDNM. Akhirnya Malaysia juga sudah berubah kepada sistem yang lebih berlandaskan ketelusan dan kejujuran...

My car tyres blew up

Early yesterday morning, I blew up two of my car tyres after falling into a big hole in the middle of a busy road going to city centre. I guess I was unfortunate because I never took that road. I wanted to avoid paying expensive parking charges if I took the road that I usually use. But I ended up paying for two tyres and expensive labour charges to the mechanics. I can’t understand why such a gaping hole can exist in the middle of city road. According to the workshop owner, there were other cases – two at least – in the past few days. And they all ended up in her workshop because it was closest to the scene. If I was riding a motorbike I could end up dead underneath somebody’s car. Based on my own quick look, I think the hole was formed by a defective grating on a manhole on the road. It looked deceiving because at first I thought there was nothing wrong with the grating. Only when I came closer did I realize that there was a big hole in it, and by that time I did not have time to avoid it. The tyres went into the hole, hit the sharp broken metal grating and went flat. Two holes were punched into each of them and there was nothing I could do except replace them with new ones. I apologized to my host for being late for our meeting.

Meeting old friend

Last Wednesday (20-4-2005) I met one of my seniors at university. He is now teaching geology at a university in the north of the country. He came to my place on a consultancy project for the geology people. Met him last year but at that time we did not have enough time to talk longer. It's been close to 15 years since we went our own ways to pursue our dreams. He got his doctorate while I fell short by one level. Didn't know he liked teaching, research and engaging in intellectual discussions. Things that I also share. We spent some time catching up with old times. Yes, we went separate ways on our career path, but we still share a lot of things in common.

He was inclined to religion and still is. Good mix I think. A PhD in science and a deep interest in religion. We need this type of people in today's world. A balance between material side and spirituality. Somebody who can offer some thoughts on how to see things from both angles.

He is supervising several post-graduate students and one of them is from Libya. I guess post-9/11, people from Middle East began to look to the Far East in many areas including education. That's good. We need support from them. It's time that they invested their money in this part of the world.

Trip to PMO

Had to wake up very early today to catch a plane to KT. Arrived at the airport about 35 minutes from departure time and found long queue waiting to check in. I did not expect the line would be that long but they told me it was usual for early morning flights. Half an hour before flight, the latecomers were called to go through an express counter. I was not going to be left behind after all.

The plane was packed full with what looked to me like business people on a day trip just like me. The take off was delayed because the plane also had to line up and wait for its turn. I grabbed a paper on the way in and found myself engrossed in reading when the plane was eventually cleared to fly.

The journey took about an hour. It was smooth and the weather was fine. It touched down at about 8.45 am. The airport itself is small. No match with the huge KLIA. But a signboard informed visitors that that would soon change. A new airport is going to be built. I think it’s about time. It’s about time that people from this part of the country saw some decent infrastructure. It looks possible now that the politics here has changed to be aligned with the federal government. Along the way, I saw new development projects springing up like mushrooms. Good for the local people. In the past, development in this oil rich state has not caught up with the rest of the country. Not much evidence of the 5% oil royalty. But hopefully this time, the money does not concentrate into just a few hands. They should not repeat the same mistakes of the past.

The coastal road from the airport to my destination is long, sometimes winding between the hills. I was in no mood to enjoy the view. There was something that I had to read. I was on the third page when I suddenly slipped into dreamland. The early morning rush to the airport eventually got the better of me. I was forced to compensate it with some rest. ZZZzzz

My new home

I like Sunday mornings. I can sleep a little longer than usual and wake up to enjoy breakfast in my home kitchen. I can read the Sunday paper, or Reader’s Digest at my own lazy pace. I don’t have to rush to take my kid to school. There is no need to beat the traffic jam. Just one whole day of free time to do whatever I like.

I moved to my own house one month ago after so many years living in rented property. I spent some money widening the kitchen, installing kitchen cabinet, plaster ceilings and dining lights. Even with my less than perfect colour differentiating capability, I tried to get matching colours – or at least what appear to me as fitting.

Moving into own house does not happen everyday and it’s worth the effort to make it comfortable and pleasant to look at. There is still poorly done paintwork that’s waiting to be re-done. My contractor friend has promised to fix it free of charge. The kitchen fan has to be repaired because of a leak coming from a dislocated tile on the roof after recent very heavy rain. The old 200 ringgit dining table is still waiting for something better, perhaps marble, to take over its job. The faithful fridge, bought when I was still single, has been doing good job for close to 8 years. But now it is begging to retire, tired of being packed full every time we go shopping. The stove, a relic of my town house days, seems to do its job better now that it’s accompanied by a smoke exhaust fan fitted into the kitchen cabinet.

The list of things to do is even longer for the living room. There is not a single picture or decoration hung on the wall yet. It gives me time to admire the empty space and consider the many ways of how I can make it beautiful. Every day after office, I stare at it as if offloading all the burden of work and pouring it onto the virgin wall. Only four of the ten down light bulbs are still working after one month of service. The first blew up within days of our move. I feel like I have been conned by the saleswoman. They were all made in China, just like almost everything else these days. Even famous names like Phillips and Panasonic can’t help but outsourcing their manufacturing there. There is some space for another set of sofa. I am thinking of filling it with some teak furniture but that can only come if my employer is kind enough to give me some bonus in a few months’ time. That teak set has to compete for money with a display cabinet under the stairs, however. I saw in one of the other houses, a very elegantly done display cabinet under the stairs going up to first floor. Instantly I fell in love. I’d told myself I would order one for my home. I need something to take my sight off from the ugliness of the corners under the stairs. Then again, I better spend my money on nice curtains. They are windows to the outside, blocking the punishing afternoon sunrays and shielding my privacy from the people passing by.

It’s ironic. When I was small, I used to live in wooden house and used to dream one day I would be living in concrete walls. Now, I prefer many of my house stuff to be made out of wood. Except that I can’t afford all of them. Only last week I spent quite a sum of money to put on some awning on the first floor balcony. The awning, just like almost everything else in the house is copied from my next door neighbours. But, while they spent more than 100 thousand on renovation, I can only afford a fraction of that. He’s a businessman with auto workshop specializing in service and repair of Mercedes. I am only a wage earner.

My home is about three quarters up a hill somewhere about 30 km from KL. One hot night I went outside and took a look at the lights from houses in the valley below the hills. It was so beautiful, quite and peaceful. My mind took me back to my old kampong. It was nice to live there. My grandmother, the only close living relative I have there, visited me some weeks back. After some weeks she could not wait to get back to the kampong although she was going to be alone there. My brother and I persuaded her to stay a little longer. I could not understand why she was in a hurry to get back home. But slowly I realized that after some time your home becomes part of you. The furniture as well as the living people in it become the context in which you live. They give meaning to your life. That night, after seeing the beautiful stars, hearing the distant noises from cars on the highway below, feeling the cool night breeze flowing among the trees, I began to realize that, despite the nostalgia of twenty years living in a village, I am going to settle down here. This house is now my new home.


Sunday
17 April 2005

Second day at this

Hurrying to take my kid to school this morning...but once we got to the school gate she told me she only got one shoe. The other one was left at home. Arggggg! Tension. How could this happen to me. My kid was late for school and then I was in danger of arriving late to work.

Luckily the newly built highway from home to office is superb. 10 minutes and I was swiping my card at the office gate. Still got time to send this blog. Back to work.

Terima Kasih Arif Aiti

Dalam perjalanan ke tempat kerja hari ini aku dengar Nasional FM. Encik Arif Aiti spoke on how to create a blog. So I am trying now to create one...if it works a big thank you to En Arif Aiti.