Teh tarik with an old friend

Last weekend I had a teh-tarik session with an old secondary school friend. The last time I met him was in 1991 - 16 years ago. It's been a long time since then. Both of us have changed in appearance. I think if we brushed shoulders in a pasar malam somewhere before we met, I would not have thought that was him, and I am quite sure he would not have recognised me.

He initially contacted me through our ex-school e-group. We exchanged a few e-mails and found out later that we were living in the same municipality. In fact he works in a nearby area as a government servant. It seems like this e-group is an excellent thing to keep old friendship alive and bring people together again.

After isyak on Saturday we sat at a kopitiam and talked about our life since SPM. He went to a local university and I was sent to London after two years of A-Levels to do engineering. He told me how he enjoyed himself a lot during university days and did not really push hard. All he wanted to do was just getting through university. After university he started working for the government. His interest in academic studies grew and he eventually obtained his master’s degree and a diploma. The next logical step is to go for a doctorate, which is the highest academic qualification that a university can offer.

He learnt recently that his application to do a PhD in the UK had just been approved and he would be flying to the UK by end of the year. I think his past work performance must have been very good to qualify him to be considered for overseas postgraduate studies. Not many people get the opportunity to study at the highest level with all fees fully paid by the government. So he said he was not going to let it go. Now that he has been given a chance to do a PhD, he wants to make up for the lack of attention he paid to his studies during his undergraduate years. According to him, in his area of work, Malaysia still needs people with expertise to be at par with other developed nations. He also told me that it was not just for him. Apart from getting his qualifications, he wanted to expose his children to life and education in the UK too. His children will also benefit from getting four years of free UK schooling. They will be able to experience an education system that is certainly different from what we are used to in Malaysia.

I cannot offer any advice on how to do a PhD because I have not done it myself, but I know that to complete it, one needs a lot of commitment, mental determination, enthusiasm, and perhaps a little bit of luck. Talking to friends who have got a PhD, I was told that in most cases it would not bring monetary returns commensurate with the effort and sacrifice that you put in. But the personal satisfaction is priceless. The joy of discovering new knowledge for the benefit of humankind is what drives some people to go through those four years of mental torture. I admire his enthusiasm to continue his studies to the highest level. Unfortunately for me, as my age approaches 40, I feel my stamina to go through the riguors of formal learning has waned down.

At this age, both of us have moved into a different phase of our life. We are now a father of four. Most of us are now pre-occupied with bringing up our children. And to most of us, after so long living in our comfort zone, having to go through another four years of burning midnight oil is just unthinkable. I think it is a lot harder to consentrate on deep thinking and research when we have so many other commitments at this phase of our life. That’s why I admire and salute those who have decided to take up the challenge.

Time seemed to run very fast. We did not realise we talked until the early hours of the morning until the coffee shop and the tomyam restaurant nearby were closing. It felt really nice to be sitting around one table again, sipping black milk coffee reminiscing about our school life and the places that we had been to over the last 16 years. Good luck to you my friend. I hope in three to four years time we’ll meet here again, sipping coffee, eating more toasts, while telling stories about your intellectual adventure. And by that time, I am sure I will be calling you a doctor.